I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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