Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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