At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
