I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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