Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
