Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
