you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
