There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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