Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
