theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
