I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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