Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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