Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
