You made me cry and you don't even care
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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