Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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