I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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