Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
