I will die if light touches me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
bring money and cleavage
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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