im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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