my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
