they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
