shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
