Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
