What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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