i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
