i used baking grease as lip gloss
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
