I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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