Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
