my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
