hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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