She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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