All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
