This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
