So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
