So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
