I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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