Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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