You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
