the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
