I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
