she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How's work?
Spinning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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