Moan for me like Helen Keller
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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