would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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