if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
