I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
