I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
