She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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