I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
