OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
