and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
