lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
