I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
