"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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