he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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